Fast Car
by legallyblained
Summary: Based on a couple of spoilers for episode 5, Kurt and Blaine deal with the topic of their first time. Initially, things don't go according to plan. Contains reference to alcohol, coarse language, lots of angst, and eventually sex.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt couldn't help but laugh as Blaine nuzzled into his neck again. Every time he wanted to be annoyed with him for getting so drunk, he would hiccup or do some wobbly dance and he'd crack up, secretly enjoying being the grown up in the relationship.

"Kurt, I just love you, you know? You're like, so smart, and your face is so soft, and you're so good at dancing and then you can talk French and it's so sexy, and, and you just make me wanna-" he reached up to kiss him, but only got his jaw. Apparently not realising he'd missed, he left his mouth there for a few seconds. Kurt hoisted him up, momentarily snapping him out of his stupor.

"I know, I know. I'm fantastic. Come on, not far now and then we can get you in the car and go home."

"Mmmmm, home. Home sounds good. Let's go home."

Kurt sighed, his amusement still overcoming his exasperation. As Blaine rested his head on his shoulder, he pressed a kiss into his hair, which was completely out of control. Soft, as all the gel had been sweated out. He wrapped his arm tighter around Blaine's waist, and gripped ono the hand that was draped over his shoulder.

As they reached the car, he leaned Blaine against the door and started to fumble around for his keys, hurrrying so as not to give him enough time to lose his balance and slide down to the floor.

"Kurt, Kurt-"

"What?" he reached the keys, unlocking the door whilst instinctively propping Blaine up by placing a hand on his stomach. He tried not to get distracted thinking about that stomach. How toned it was. How it only had one layer covering it. How he could just trace the subtle contours on it defining his muscles…

Blaine placed his hand over Kurt's. He looked straight into Kurt's face with a cheeky glint in his eye. Suddenly, he grabbed his hand and yanked it, pulling Kurt into him, running his other hand through Kurt's hair as he kissed him, passionately if a little clumsily. Kurt dropped the keys, startled by the transformation from drunk toddler to horny boyfriend, but just as he started to sink into the kiss, he reluctantly made himself pull away. He just needed to focus on driving home.

"Aw, don't do that, come back…" he tried to argue, the whole time showing no resistance as Kurt manoeuvered him onto the backseat. Just as Kurt reached across him to try and do up his seatbelt, that sparkle appeared in his eyes again, and he grinned, slipping his fingers in between Kurt's and pulling him into the car on top of him. Kurt let out a yelp as he lost his balance. All of his weight was on Blaine. Part of him just wanted to go for it. Blaine's skin was glistening, and he was kissing his neck and making those low, breathy groans… But when they kissed, he tasted like alcohol. And this was too… animalistic. It was just mindless groping; there was none of the tenderness or affection he'd imagined. They weren't even making eye contact. And they were in the back of his car. And he didn't have any protection.

It felt good, but he needed it to feel perfect.

"Blaine, stop." He started dragging himself off him, disentangling his hand and climbing out of the car, "Not now, OK? Not like this."

"What? Why? Kurt, come on-" He tried to reach out to pull him back in, but he wasn't quick enough. Kurt took a deep breath while he straightened his shirt and smoothed down his jeans. "Kurt! What's wrong with you? I thought you wanted… I don't understand…"

He panicked. He hated seeing him upset. "No! I do, you know that, so much, but, this doesn't feel right-"

"Was I doing something wrong?"

"Blaine. You're drunk. This is supposed to be special, and I don't want you to forget all about it by tomorrow. This is supposed to be a memory we can both hold onto. Please don't be upset-" he tried to take Blaine's hand, but was shaken off, "Blaine, please. I just love you too much to just throw this moment away!" Blaine scrambled out of the car. He stumbled as he got back to his feet. As if he wasn't humiliated enough, he had to go and almost fall over.

"Fine. I understand" he started to walk away.

"Blaine, where are you going? It's late, I'm not letting you walk home on your own! You don't even know where you are! Please-" He tried to grab Blaine's arm, but Blaine didn't want to be touched any more. He turned around to look at Kurt.

"I'm sorry. OK? I'm sorry that I got drunk, I'm sorry that I was just trying to be close to you, you just looked so… and I wanted to… Oh, forget it! I'm fine, just go. I'll call someone, a cab or something-" He wiped the tear from his cheek, looking at the floor. He had only looked down so that he didn't have to look at Kurt, but he spotted the car keys. He picked them up and handed them to his boyfriend. He summoned the courage to look him in the eyes. Even though he was slurring his words, he somehow didn't seem drunk any more. Kurt tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away.

"I'm sorry. Really. I'll… I'll see you on Monday. Sorry." And with that, he slunk off, getting his phone out of his pocket and starting to dial.

Kurt sniffed. He put a hand on the car to steady himself. He wasn't sure what had just happened. He wanted to call out to him, but all he could do was watch him walk away. He climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. He drove out of Blaine's sight, then waited until a cab rolled up before he left. He couldn't bring himself to talk to him, but he still needed to make sure he got home safely. As the cab drove away, with Blaine inside, Kurt agonised over a text to send him, finally settling on: 'Please let me know when you get home. I don't want us to fight over this. Just tell me we're ok. I love you x'

He tried turning the radio on. 'Teenage Dream' was playing.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He shouted, stabbing at the buttons on the stereo, until he had to turn it off. Happy songs pissed him off. Sad songs made him want to cry. He breathed slowly and deeply, wiped his eyes, and drove home in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine read the message again:

'Please let me know when you get home. I don't want us to fight over this. Just tell me we're ok. I love you x'

He couldn't tell if he was hungover or heartbroken. Or just embarrassed. He was still trying to piece together what had happened. He remembered alcohol, and Kurt, and making out… He cringed just thinking about it. He knew he'd been all over the place. There was vague memory of sucking on Kurt's jaw, which he still didn't understand. He started to get dressed while he thought, hoping that if he at least looked presentable, maybe he could make up for being such a prick the night before, but eventually the spinning in his head got too much. He flopped back onto the bed in his jeans, pulling the covers back over his head and opening the message again.

He didn't want to fight either. He just wanted to apologise over and over, for drinking so much and for trying to push him so far, but he kept imagining what Kurt must have thought of him last night. Just a stupid kid who couldn't handle his alcohol, who had no idea what he was getting into. When all he'd wanted was to be close to him, and to feel his skin against his own, and just to be held by him. And he felt the same as Kurt, in that he definitely didn't want it going down like that. There was no way he would want to throw it away in a car, when he was wasted. He wanted it to be perfect too, but how could he come back from last night? But still, he didn't want him to worry. He knew if he didn't text back, there'd be a search party all over Ohio within hours.

'I got home fine, thanks. I'm so sorry about last night. I feel really stupid, not to mention hungover haha, love you too xxx'

He cringed again. 'haha'. He hoped Kurt would notice the significance of the extra kisses. They were usually a one-kiss-per-text kind of couple.

The day before, all he could think about was Kurt. More specifically, sex with Kurt. It had come up in conversation, but no plans had been made. Kurt just got kind of awkward, and just looked at him with the slightest smile, suggesting that he wanted to, but he obviously didn't want to force anything; he just wanted it to happen naturally. And in the bar, the way they had been staring at each other all night, and when they'd been in a corner, just whispering and kissing, Kurt had held him so close, that he felt like that was going to be the night.

And as much as he wanted it, and he really wanted it, he started freaking out. Usually when they kissed, there was someone else there, a parent or Rachel or Finn, but that night it was just them. Nobody could walk in, nobody could get angry with them. There was nothing to stop them. They weren't just innocently making out any more. This could actually go somewhere.

So he started drinking more quickly.

And then it all went wrong.

And now he wanted to die.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt checked his phone again. He was sure the cab was licensed and everything. He'd seen the insignia and registrations; it all seemed fine, but he couldn't help worrying. Blaine was in such a state last night. What if… No. It would be fine.

He kept scrolling up and down through his messages. Still nothing. Last night he'd just looked so broken. It was like he'd kicked a puppy. A drunk, horny puppy. Why had this created a barrier between them? Wasn't this supposed to be something that brought people closer together? He felt like he should be able to just hug him and laugh about it, but he knew how embarrassed he'd be feeling. It was exactly how he'd felt around Finn the year before. It was all so humiliating for both of them. He was desperate to check on him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it by text. He'd tried calling, but got no answer. It hit him that Blaine wouldn't just be feeling stupid: he was also going to have a splitting headache. Why add to that?

He just wanted to skip this bit. Skip ahead a week so that everything was fine again, and they were just back at school, holding hands and laughing at Rachel and talking about normal things and Glee club and the future. How could five minutes of fumbling and arguing ruin all of that?

His phone vibrated. Oh God, it was one of the most awkward messages he'd ever read. 'I got home fine, thanks. I'm so sorry about last night. I feel really stupid, not to mention hungover haha, love you too xxx'

Blaine wasn't the type to write 'haha'. They never had to tell each other if they thought something was funny; they always just sort of knew. Rachel was constantly all 'LOL' and 'OMG' and exclamation marks everywhere, but he knew if Blaine would be laughing or not. And right now he wasn't. And the extra kisses - he must be feeling guilty.

'You don't have to apologise! Shall I come over?' He hesitated.

'Shall' sounded like he felt obligated, but 'Can' sounded like he was desperate to see him. Obviously he was, but the guy had a hangover that needed nursing. And the '!' seemed so panicky and needy.

But he was panicking. And he needed Blaine.

In the end he went with 'Stop apologising. Just let me come over and look after you. I miss you x'. He pressed send, and grabbed his keys.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt knocked at the door. He couldn't help but be intimidated by this house. It was so grand, and the garden was so pristine. It was as if it was competing with the other houses on the street, and it was a nice neighbourhood but this house definitely won. He wondered who would win in a fight between Blaine's house and his. Blaine's had some obvious advantages, but he was pretty sure his wouldn't mind playing dirty. It had more streetsmarts. This place was far too clean.

No answer. He tried again. He checked his phone. Blaine hadn't replied, but he knew he'd be driving, so there was no need to reply. It's not like he said no.

But where was he?

The door handle twisted and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief, only to suck it back it when Blaine's father appeared on the other side.

"Yes?"

"Oh. Hello!" This man was every bit as scary as his big, perfect house. He was far too smartly dressed for a Saturday morning, clean-shaven and somehow distant. Kurt saw so much of him in Blaine; thankfully it was just in his nose and eyebrows. His eyes were the exact same colour, but with none of the warmth. "Is Blaine in? I just told him I'd come over - he said he wasn't feeling well. I'm Kurt, by the way!", he gabbled, sticking his hand out nervously.

Mr Anderson ignored the gesture. He moved his paper into his right hand to avoid any kind of physical contact with Kurt.

"He's fine. He will be. He has a lot of work to do; you should probably leave him to it." He conveyed so little emotion, he couldn't believe Blaine was his son. No wonder being so close freaked him out last night: with so little affection at home how could he be expected to deal with it anywhere else?

"Oh, don't worry, I won't be long. It's just that, well, we had kind of an argument last night and I wanted to get things straight in person. You know, sometimes texting doesn't quite cut it!" Kurt wanted to punch himself in the face. Wittering like this was one his biggest pet peeves, but he couldn't stop. He'd only been around the man for thirty seconds and he thought he was going to cry, he couldn't imagine living with him.

"You wanted to get things straight. Right." Kurt couldn't ignore the emphasis. "Well, as I said, he's very busy. If he hasn't got back to you, it's probably because he doesn't want to be disturbed. I think it's for the best if you head home. He's in no fit state to see anyone. Especially-"

"Especially who? Me? Sir, I care a lot about your son-"

"Exactly. It's inappropriate for him to be around people like you. He doesn't need you getting ideas into his head. Look around you. This is a nice town. I still don't know why he wanted to transfer from Dalton, why he wanted to ruin his chances just for some… Phase. But I will not have you corrupting him. Now I suggest you turn around, get back in your car, and leave. My son. Alone."

He slammed the door. Kurt didn't know what to do. His hands were shaking with both anger and fear. He'd seen bullies before. He knew people who didn't understand, who hated what he was. But to see that from Blaine's dad? The man who supposed to look after him, to love him no matter what? He didn't even notice a tear rolling down his cheek. He just took a step back from the door and tried calling Blaine.

It went straight to voicemail. Stunned into silence, he walked slowly back to the road. He couldn't believe he was back here. Sitting in the car, not knowing what to do about Blaine. He tried calling him again, but there was still no answer. This time though, it was different. He wasn't just upset; he was furious. He was angry with himself for not standing up to him, for not running up to Blaine's room and making sure he was OK, for just standing there like an idiot, not fighting for the two of them. But mostly he was angry with him. That man. That man who laboured the word 'straight', who loved his son less just because of what he was, who kept him away from his boyfriend when they had things to sort out.

He turned the keys and sped off. He had to take his anger out on something, even if that something was his car. He needed to get home and try to get hold of Blaine.


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine was famished. It was already dark by the time he woke up again, and he ambled his way to the kitchen, head still spinning. He just needed to eat something, try not to throw up, then he could go back to his room and call Kurt once his eyes were focusing properly. He tried not to think too hard about everything that had happened, knowing he had a tendency to blow things out of proportion. It was bad, but it had to be fixable. All it would take was a phone call and everything would be fine.

He grabbed some bacon out of the fridge, and started frying. If anything could make him feel better right now, it'd be a bacon sandwich. What Kurt didn't know wouldn't hurt him. And he figured Kurt would be focusing on other issues right now.

As he gazed at the frying pan, trying not to fall over, relieved when his stomach didn't turn at the smell of food, he heard his father walk in. He suddenly felt so guilty, even though he hadn't really done anything. He was pretty sure everyone had been asleep when he got home. But now he couldn't really remember. The man so rarely smiled and meant it, Blaine didn't know how to tell if he was angry or not.

"Evening."

"Hi, dad. Sorry I missed dinner. And lunch. I've just been studying and stuff, I got really into it and I didn't want to break concentration-"

"I know you were asleep. I saw you." Blaine wanted to object to his father coming into his room, but he knew he didn't really have a leg to stand on. "And I haven't heard a peep from you all day; you're usually so loud. I think you've lied enough to me already without adding to it now."

The bacon kept sizzling, and a drop of fat flew out onto Blaine's arm, burning him. He flinched and slowly turned his head to look at his father. Those eyes just did something to him. He was four years old again. Even if he hadn't been out last night, even if he had been studying all day, he'd still feel like he was in trouble. He wondered why he bothered trying so hard to get this man's approval when he was never going to get it.

"OK. I overdid it last night. I'm sorry. But I'll make up the time I've lost, now that I've slept it off I just need to finish that Biology Report I started yesterday, and it's almost finished anyway…" He hated himself when he was around his dad. He was so unsure of everything, he could feel his confidence being undermined at every turn.

"Blaine, this is not about your schoolwork. This is about you."

He was stunned. It was always about school. What had happened? What did he know? His head was spinning again, but he felt suddenly and completely sober.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" He produced a phone from his pocket. Blaine's phone. Shit.

"Like what?", he stammered. He couldn't give away any more than he had to. There was still a chance he didn't know.

"About… A boy. Kurt. The one who came to the house earlier, asking for you."

Oh, God. He met Kurt. What did he say to him? Kurt wouldn't have given anything away, but Dad had a habit of just… knowing stuff. And he wouldn't like it. He hated any kind of confrontation with his father, but what if he'd upset Kurt? He tried to stand up straight, summoning all of his strength.

"Dad, did you take my phone out of my room? Someone might have tried to call me-"

"Someone did. Eleven times. He must be a good friend; he seemed worried about you." His voice was oozing disdain. "Blaine, what have you been doing with this boy?"

Blaine's fear was evaporating as he got angrier. "Why didn't you wake me up? If someone calls me… If a girl had called me, would you have taken my phone away? Or would you have woken me up and let me answer? Dad, he's my friend, and now he'll think I'm ignoring him!"

"I didn't know boys were so sensitive these days. Can't you just see him on Monday? I mean, if he's just a friend? Obviously if it was a girl things would be different, girlfriends can get so touchy. But hey, if he's a pal, he'll understand, right? Right?"

"You know what?" This was it. He couldn't back away from this. "He will understand. Because he's not just my friend. He's my best friend." He paused. He'd imagined coming out before, but never like this. He felt like he was being trapped. His dad knew; he'd known for months, maybe years, and said nothing. He looked like a giant now, advancing towards him, his face still seeming calm but his eyes wide with contempt. "Dad, he's my boyfriend, OK? He's my boyfriend, and he's perfect, and he makes me happy!"

"Blaine, keep your voice down. Stop this, you're confu-"

"No! I'm not confused, and I won't be quiet! Dad, you know I'm gay! I was so afraid to tell you, and now everything's so great because of him! I feel like I don't have to be afraid any more! Dad, I don't want to be afraid of you any more, OK?"

His father's face changed. The reserve was gone. No more stiff upper lip. He was breathing harder. Blaine shrunk again. He'd seem him angry before, but…

"Shut. The fuck. Up. You're just a kid. What the hell do you know?" He threw Blaine's phone against the wall, breaking the cover off. The battery flew out, and the pieces hit the floor. Blaine felt like his insides were doing the same. "I suppose you think you love him?" He took a step back, almost tripping, and watched his father grab the frying pan off the stove and send it clanging to the floor. "If you want to be a freak, then do it on your own time. And keep it the fuck out of my house. I don't want our neighbours seeing you bringing guys back to our home. I stood up for you when you wanted to transfer to Dalton. I should have left you in the first school. Maybe it would have toughened you up. Stopped you getting these ideas." Blaine wanted to argue, but all the fight has just been knocked out of him. He just stood there. He watched as his father took several deep breaths, straightened his tie, asked to 'clean up this mess', and resumed his cool, composed expression like nothing had happened. "As soon as this is tidy you can go and finish that Biology Report. Let's not let everything turn to shit."

He left the room.

Blaine practically pounced on his phone. He needed to speak to Kurt. But as soon as he got the battery back in and turned it on, he stopped. What if his dad came back in, and it all kicked off again? He cleaned the mess off the floor, his phone in his pocket, then ran up to his room to do his homework.

-

His phone rang again. That had been four times since he'd switched it back on. He just stared at the picture of Kurt that was popping up on the screen. Kurt hated the picture, but it was his favourite. He'd taken it when Kurt was talking to Rachel, and he was in the middle of laughing. He couldn't help smiling when he saw it. He couldn't keep ignoring him, and he wasn't concentrating on photosynthesis anyway. He picked up.

"Blaine! Oh God I'm so relieved, I wasn't sure what had happened! I thought maybe you were just hungover or something, but it's, what, 9pm are you still weren't picking up, and I thought your dad… Oh, I don't even know-"

"Kurt, Kurt, it's fine. Everything's fine. But I… I can't really talk. Some stuff happened with my dad. He knows, and. He's gone so… Look, I still really want to talk to you about last night, and I want to make things ok, I just need to keep my head down for the rest of the weekend. I don't want to make him any madder than he already is. I've got to go, I have a tonne of homework to do. But I'll see you on Monday OK? I… I love you, Kurt." He hated whispering that. He wanted to shout it, mostly because it was true, obviously, but partly just to mess with his dad. He couldn't handle another fight though.

"OK. I love you too. Just - call me if you want to, alright? I'm here if you need me. Whenever."

"Yeah, thanks. Really. Thanks." He paused. He knew Kurt could tell he was miserable, but he couldn't fight the sadness in his voice any more. He was done fighting for today. "I'll see you at school. Bye." He hung up before Kurt could say 'Bye' back. He flopped onto his bed again, putting his phone under his pillow so nobody could get to it, and was asleep in seconds.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt waited nervously by his locker. The rest of the weekend had been hell. There had been so much more he'd wanted to say to Blaine, but after that phone call he decided to leave it. He drafted eight different text messages, trying to tell him to stay strong, but it never sounded right. Blaine would probably over analyse everything just like he did, and it always got everyone upset. So he waited until they could speak face to face.

As he was going over and over his conversation with Blaine's father in his head, he felt a tentative hand on his arm. He jumped, but the instant he realised who it was, he melted. His instinct was to just jump on him and squeeze him until he couldn't breathe, but then he remembered that they were having a whole awkward thing right now. He didn't care about Friday night any more, he just wanted to comfort his boyfriend because he was having a shit time at home. But Blaine looked so timid, like a tiny mouse that would spook and run away if he tried to pet him. So he wore his warmest smile and squeezed Blaine's arm. He had a guitar slung across his back. Just as Kurt was about to ask about it, Blaine started apologising profusely.

"Listen, Kurt," he took Kurt's hand from his arm and clung to it in between them, "About Friday, I feel awful." Kurt tried to protest, but Blaine cut him off, "No, seriously. I drank too much because I freaked out. Because I wanted you, because I always want you, and the idea that I could actually have you, with nothing in the way, it was too much. I think I'm still just surprised that you could want me back. And I don't want to blame 'daddy issues' or anything, but you've met him now and you've seen what he's like, he thinks I'm… OK, I don't know what he thinks, but I always felt like being so close to someone, especially a guy, was wrong. I felt guilty, and so scared of what people might say, and scared that I'd do it all wrong and mess it up, that I went and messed it up anyway."

Kurt smiled. He couldn't help finding Blaine cute when he got like this, forgetting to stop for breath, because he had too much that he wanted to say. "You didn't mess it up-"

"Only because you didn't let me. Honestly, it wouldn't have been long before that whole moment was gone. And I want you you want. I want it to be perfect. I want to remember every second of being with you, I want to memorise every inch of you. You're just… Everything. And I hate that I almost screwed it all up, but I'm so grateful to you for making it all OK." He paused. "It is OK, right?"

"Blaine." Kurt put a hand on his cheek. Neither of them looked around to see who was watching. They didn't care. They moved towards each other, neither one initiating the kiss more than the other. Their lips met, and Kurt pulled Blaine in close to him, so that they were up against the locker. Not in any kind of sexual, animalistic way, like they had been before. Right now that wasn't important. They were so close, and for now, just holding each other was enough. They stopped kissing, and looked into each other's eyes for a second. Kurt pressed his forehead against Blaine's and closed his eyes, feeling those hands firmly on his waist, absent-mindedly stroking Blaine's shoulders and back. He let his arm fall until it reached his hand. He weaved his fingers in between Blaine's.

"Yes, Blaine. It's OK. Come on, we'll be late for French."


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the day, everything was how it was before. Only better. There was an understanding between them now. Neither of them was in a hurry to have sex, to rush it and make it anything less than perfect. They had time, and they had each other. So they both relaxed. They kept laughing and making fun of each other, and when they thought nobody was looking they would exchange subtle 'I Love You' glances. Of course, everyone was looking. Finn had heard Kurt explain all of his problems to Burt, and he'd told Rachel, and Rachel had told everyone. They all sat together at lunch, Puck constantly mentioning sausages and Santana muttering about how sickening they were, but as far as they were conerned, they were the only two people in the building.

But Blaine still never explained why he'd brought his guitar, and Kurt was too busy being smitten to ask.

When 3:30 rolled around, Kurt went and sat at the back of the choir room as always, but was surprised when Blaine didn't appear next to him. Instead, he was whispering to Mr Schuester, guitar in hand. Schu nodded to him, smiled at Kurt, and sat down with the rest of the kids. Kurt tensed slightly. Everyone was grinning at him, and then looking back to Blaine, as he sat on a stool. Brittany was biting her lip and smiling, her fingers playing with Santana's absent-mindedly. Artie and Puckerman were practically sniggering. Kurt was pretty sure they loved Blaine almost as much as he did. But not quite. He focused on his boyfriend, ready to perform in front of these people he didn't even know all that well. Alone. Kurt felt his heart beating faster, swelling inside his chest.

"Kurt. I know you've forgiven me for last week. I just wanted to… To thank you." He didn't need any more words. He just started playing. For the first few chords, Blaine stared at the guitar. He didn't have to, the song was one of his favourites, but it was so personal he didn't think he could do it if he could see all those pairs of eyes looking back at him. Not to mention, if he looked at Kurt's eyes he's just melt, and that wouldn't make for a very professional performance.

'You had a fast car; I wanna take it to anywhere,

Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere,

Any place is better, startin' from zero got nothin' to lose,

Maybe we'll make somethin', me myself I got nothin' to prove'

Kurt loved this song. His mind was all over the place, but mostly between two thoughts: How well this song suited Blaine's voice, and how beautiful this moment was. A beautiful, kind man was singing to him, trying to get forgiveness which he already had, just to prove that he loved him.

'You got a fast car, is it fast enough so we can fly away?

We gotta make a decision; leave tonight or live and die this way'

Blaine managed to look up at Kurt. He was obviously unsure of what to do with himself. One minute he'd trapped his hands between his legs and the next, he was twisting his scarf in between his fingers in one hand, and slowly rubbing his thigh with the other. The rest of the club weren't grinning any more. A couple had closed their eyes, and others were silently tapping their feet and nodding their heads ever so slightly.

Part of Kurt felt like he should have been embarrassed. Like every now and then he should give someone else a glance, to show some kind of self-awareness. But he didn't have any. Like the rest of the group, he couldn't take his eyes off Blaine. He didn't even wipe the tears from his cheeks. He just tried to hold onto himself, his leg, his neck, in case he let go and shattered on the spot.

'So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car,

Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk,

The city lights lay out before us,

And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder,

And I, I, had a feeling that I belonged,

I, I, had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone'

Those last three lines, Kurt and Blaine's eyes locked. He repeated the chorus, and Kurt could barely breathe. Blaine looked so vulnerable yet so strong sitting there. He was small and alone, but the passion he put into playing and singing, and the expression of love on his face, and the lines in his brow as he put so much emotion into the song… They all strengthened him. Elevated him. He became so much more than the boy who was scared of what his father thought. He transformed into the man who would do anything, be as strong as he needed to be, for his boyfriend.

The song came to an end. There was a pause as he looked up at the other members of the club to see if he had their approval. In that moment of silence he thought he'd overstepped, but it didn't last long. Puck stood up first, clapping to cover up the sound of his sniffing and sharp intakes of breath. The others soon joined in, and now it was Blaine's turn to wonder where to put his hands. He got up and stood the guitar next to him, gripping onto the neck with both hands so he could pretend to be confident and sure of himself. He didn't fool Kurt though, who jumped down from his seat and pulled Blaine into a hug. Finn grabbed the guitar to stop Blaine fumbling with it, so he could hug Kurt back.

Kurt had one hand on the small of Blaine's back, pulling him close, and the other hand in his hair. Not just stroking it this time. In it. And for the second time that day, as he felt his boyfriend's arms wrapped tightly around his waist, he clung to Blaine's hair as he kissed him. He managed to restrain himself, because there were PDAs and then there was just being Finn and Rachel, and he and Blaine were better than that. He stood back, his arms still on Blaine's shoulders, but they were quickly separated by the rest of the club, elbowing their way in to congratulate him and hug him, the girls giggling and the boys trying (and failing) not to cry. Rachel was talking so quickly and clapping and jumping, it made Blaine dizzy. Despite the many friendly punches (which hurt him more than they were supposed to) and girly cuddles, he kept looking over his shoulder at Kurt. It was fine that they had been pulled apart for now. Because they would always be pushed back together again.


	8. Chapter 8

"Yeah, Dad. I… Yes." Blaine held his palm over his phone to hide his giggles as Kurt squeezed his waist. They were walking to the car. "Sectionals is coming up soon, so Mr Schue's got us working really hard." He batted Kurt's hands away, but the stupid grin didn't leave his face. Kurt got his own phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear.

"Oh, Blaine, I'm getting a call, it's your dad. He says he actually really likes me and wants me to come to dinner. He says he can't wait for us to get married and adopt a bunch of kittens and unicorns and fairies-"

"It looks like I'm getting a solo; he says I'm doing really well. This competition's gonna be a breeze-"

"No, Mr Anderson. I can't come to your house tonight. Because your son and I are going to my house. My empty house. And we're going to make out a lot-"

Blaine shoved his shoulder, playfully but a little too hard. Kurt just about caught his balance before hitting the floor, but his awkward stance only made it harder for Blaine to talk to his father without cracking up. Kurt was always so elegant, but just occasionally he'd be too long for his own good and this was the result: a combination of Bambi on the ice and C3PO in the desert. He grabbed the car door handle to pull himself up, while Blaine leaned on the bonnet, turning his back on Kurt and taking deep breaths to regain his composure.

"It's nothing. Just Mike, he's trying to teach the others a move and it's gone really wrong, one guy just made an idiot of himself." Kurt gasped in faux-horror, slapping him on the back. "They can be so immature. I wish they'd just take things a little more seriously." Kurt had jumped in front of him now. He stuck his hand out and ruffled Blaine's hair, as he tried to swat him away again. He put his hand on Kurt's chest, ducking and dodging as he kept trying to set the curls free. Kurt went back to his phone.

"No, Stuart, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your son is a raging homosexual, and that I am completely irresistible. And I'm sorry that it doesn't matter how much of an ass you are, neither of us gives a- OW!" Blaine had shoved him against the car and put an arm across his chest, pinning him down.

"Listen, Dad, I really have to go. There's just a number nobody else can get right-"

"I CAN MR ANDERSON!"

"And they really need me to run it through. They're hopeless without me."

Kurt's eyes narrowed, tilting his head forwards so that he was looking up at Blaine. Blaine who was now pressed up against him, who was wincing as the noise on the other end of the phone got louder. He held the phone a couple of inches away from his ear, turned his head to stare at it quizzically, and hung up. He look Kurt in the eyes as he switched it off.

"Stuart, I'm so sorry. But your son is looking at me in a way I don't think you'd approve of. But I do, very much, and I need to take this boy home. Now." Kurt let his arm drop as Blaine, still smiling, pushed into him, one hand on his hip, the thumb firmly stroking the inch of skin that was showing above his jeans after all of his jumping around. As he leaned in to kiss Kurt, he carefully placed his hand on the car, closing in on him. Kurt allowed himself to slide his back down against the side of the car as they both melted into the kiss. They'd both stopped laughing now. As they parted and opened their eyes, staring staright at each other, nothing seemed so funny any more.


	9. Chapter 9

They tried to talk on the way home. They sped through topics like the play, and Sectionals, and whether or not Katy Perry was really pro-gay rights or just using lesbianism as a gimic, and then kept falling into silence. It was comfortable silence, but the air was thick with sexual tension. Without even realising it, Blaine had put his hand on Kurt's neck, and was gently massaging it as Kurt drove.

Kurt struggled to remember that he was driving at all. He could hear his dad talking about safe driving in his head, about removing all distractions while he was on the road, and he knew he should get Blaine to keeps his hands to himself, but he couldn't ask him to stop. He kept trying to breathe deeply to slow his heart, and to stop the shivers that kept rolling up from the base of his spine, but his slow, deliberate breathing sounded more like panting, and it just made things worse. The harder he heard Kurt breathing, the more Blaine had to bite down on his lip, and he knew he should pull his hand away, but he just needed to be touching Kurt. He slid his hand down slowly, until it was resting in the small of Kurt's back. Kurt suddenly straightened up, breathing in sharply as he felt Blaine's fingertips skimming the top of his jeans, and his hand so warm and strong on his back…

When they pulled into the driveway, he couldn't figure out whether he was relieved or disappointed that the ride was over. As soon as he'd switched off the engine, he launched himself at Blaine. He was so angry that he'd taken advantage of the situation, knowing that Kurt had to try and focus and knowing that it would be impossible to focus if he had Blaine's hands near him, but he was more angry with himself for how much he liked it. He loved being overpowered by such small gestures and movements. He pushed down on the steering wheel, levering himself up from his seat so he could be just above Blaine while he kissed him. He wanted to be in control now. They both breathed in deeply as they pressed against each other, their minds lost in a blur of hands and tongues and lips and skin. Kurt snaked his hand down Blaine's chest, tracing every button on his shirt and hooking one finger over the top of his trousers. Then, with one last push on his lips, he pulled back. Blaine let out a whimper before he could stop himself.

"Kurt… Is something wrong?"

"Yes. The location. Get out."

Blaine couldn't move for a second. He didn't know how Kurt could possibly just stop like that. He sat, breathless, and watched in disbelief as he calmly pulled the keys out and slid out of the car. He knew this was what he deserved for torturing him the whole ride home. Kurt looked back and said "Well?" with a sly smirk before casually bumping the door shut with his hip, maintaining eye contact, knowing that just that tiny thrust would be torture to him. He started strolling, as if he hadn't a care in the world, towards the house, and Blaine snapped out of his daze. He fumbled to unbuckle his seat belt and clambered out of the car, trying to angle his pelvis so that Kurt wouldn't realise just how much this teasing was working. But it was too late. Kurt knew exactly what he was doing. He sauntered up to the front door and skipped inside, leaving the door open for Blaine to follow him helplessly. He never had Kurt down as a tease, but naturally it just made him want him more.

When Kurt heard Blaine walk in, he ran to one of the cupboards in the kitchen and opened it, feigning surprise when he entered the room.

"We should have some dinner. Somehow I'm really in the mood to cook. What better way to spend an evening alone than quietly cooking a meal together? Maybe we could watch a movie- Oh… Blaine-" it was hard to keep this up with a mouth attached to his neck. He reached back, trembling, and pushed his fingers through Blaine's hair, just as he was slowly sneaking his hands up under his shirt, stroking his flat stomach while he made his way up the back of his neck until he was biting his ear lobe. Kurt gasped as he bit harder than he was expecting. "Blaine!"

Blaine grabbed his waist and spun him around, pushing him roughly against the counter.

"Well, all that talking about food, you just made me hungry." Kurt's eyes widened. God, this was so cheesy, so clichéd… But as soon as he opened his mouth to protest, Blaine's was clamped over it. He closed his eyes. all he could focus on was Blaine: Blaine's lips against his, Blaine's tongue delving deeper, unrelenting, into his mouth, Blaine starting to kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck, his chest…

He grabbed Kurt's ass with both hands, loving how firm in felt in his tight black jeans, and hoisted him up onto the counter, their lips locked again. He resumed his course down his torso, eagerly unbuckling Kurt's belt as he did so. He kissed his stomach and worked his way down his abdomen, and Kurt exhaled deeply and let his head roll back as Blaine practically swallowed him whole. He didn't dare open his eyes, in case the slightest change in circumstance would make this feeling stop. He was trembling, shivering, savouring every sensation brushing over his body. He gripped to the edge of the counter with his left hand, his right clinging to the handle of the cupboard he had been teasing Blaine from not five minutes earlier, until he had to move it down into Blaine's hair, just to check that this was really happening. He relished the feeling of those wet curls wrapping around his fingers, as his sweat loosened the gel and his head started moving faster. His mouth was pulsating around him in time with his own breathing, and the grip on his hips was becoming tighter and tighter, until it was all just too much. His entire body went rigid. His back straightened. He let out a breathy groan as his eyes clenched shut even more tightly. His hips bucked towards Blaine, ever so slightly, and all he could see was a blur of light.

His body gradually relaxed, drooping down as his head rested against the cupboard door and he tried to catch his breath. He'd have fallen off completely if it hadn't been for Blaine catching him, pressing into him, his clothes disheveled and sweaty, his hair dripping, kissing him slowly, gently, deeply. Kurt wrapped his legs around his waist and his hands around his head, and just held him. Their foreheads and noses were pressed together.

"Blaine, I… I-"

Blaine just nodded. Kurt kissed his temple and pulled him in, feeling the warmth of his chest, the rhythms of their breathing synchronising as they both calmed down. Blaine gently nuzzled into his neck, refusing to let go, holding Kurt up for as long as he needed him to.

"Blaine," he whispered in his ear.

"Mmmm?" He replied sleepily, pressing soft, light kisses onto his neck.

"Maybe we should go upstairs."

"Hmmm, sure. Whenever you're ready."

"I'm fine. That was… I'm… I'm perfect. You're perfect. I just hope you're ready."

Blained pulled back a little, looking at Kurt, his eyes widening in surprise.

"It's your turn."


	10. Chapter 10

Blaine raised his eyebrows.

Kurt was smiling at him again, but it wasn't the sassy smirk from before. They weren't playing games any more. He just looked calm, as his breathing gradually slowed down. They kissed softly and slowly, Kurt buttoning his jeans back up before laying his hands upon Blaine's shoulders as he slid gracefully off of the counter. Blaine instinctively held his waist, helping him down. It was pointless; his feet were only inches from the floor to begin with, but Kurt still loved feeling those strong hands holding him. It was as though he could never be close enough to him. He could tell from the way Blaine looked up at him that he felt the same. He didn't want anything to stop them, to break them apart even for a minute.

"Come on," he said, still smiling contentedly, "I've got, you know, everything… It's upstairs." He kissed Blaine on the head, catching the scent of his hair mingled with his sweat, and automatically squeezed his shoulder to steady himself. It was hard not to get carried away again when he caught a breath of that smell. But as much as he'd enjoyed this, he just wanted to go to his room and lock the rest of the world out. After Friday, they both wanted to stay calm, and do this right.

Kurt gripped Blaine's hand tightly as he led him up the stairs in silence. For once they didn't have anything to talk about. If they'd tried to start a conversation, they both would have gabbled nervously, so they just didn't bother.

Blaine was trembling as they went into Kurt's room. He'd seen the room so many times before and spent hours looking at all the photos and little decorations that were such a part of who he was. But today he wasn't looking at any of them. He was just staring at the bed, swallowing, trying to keep his breathing slow. He knew Kurt would be scared too, and he didn't want to add to it. He was still in disbelief over what he'd just done. He'd never really expected to enjoy it. He'd imagined giving head before, but he just thought it would be a nice… Gesture. What he'd forgotten to take into account was how he would feel kissing Kurt, how much he would love kissing the rest of him, how beautiful Kurt's face would look, how he would be able to hook his arms under Kurt's legs and grip his ass and hips and waist and have complete control over him. He remembered those fingers running through his hair, and the noises Kurt had made, somewhere between groans and whimpers as he was rendered completely helpless, and just knowing that he was capable of doing that to him - it felt amazing.

He felt a bead of sweat trickle down the back of his neck and make its way down his spine. Kurt gently pushed him into the door, closing it, and kissed him. His breathing was shaky and so were his hands, as he locked the door and reached out and pulled everything they needed from a drawer on his right. A tiny voice in his head tried to make him wave the condom in Blaine's face, shouting 'Well, there's no way I'm letting you have your way with me just to leave me to raise a baby on my own!', but he squashed it. Obviously he loved making Blaine laugh, but there was a time and place. And this wasn't it.

Their mouths stayed connected as they blindly made their way towards the bed, tentatively pulling each other's shirts off, the condom and lube in between Kurt's fingers. It wasn't far, but Blaine still managed to trip, pulling Kurt with him as they crashed onto the bed. They both burst out laughing, finally breaking the tension. They each knew that the other was scared, but they still wanted to do this. As they caught their breath, Kurt propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Blaine, that soft smile on his face again. He gave him the tiniest kiss on the nose. Blaine couldn't help grinning.

"What was that for?"

Kurt tilted his head, glancing around him, then looking right back to Blaine. "I have no idea. You just looked so adorable, it seemed like that was the logical thing to do." His hand was resting on Blaine's chest, his thumb casually stroking a small patch of his hair until it was perfectly straight. Blaine reached up to kiss him, and suddenly, without them realising it, the whole mood had shifted. They didn't speak. The only sound was their heavy breathing and soft groans as they kissed each other all over, exploring faces, necks, shoulders, arms, and chests. Kurt's jeans and underwear slid off easily, as he'd barely done them up properly in the kitchen. He swung his leg over Blaine, mounting him, and sat up so he could unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers. Blaine gasped, struggling to cope with the transition from making out to just, nothing. He tried to sit up, put Kurt just looked him in the eyes as if to say 'Don't bother. I've got this.' and he sank back down with a sigh.

Kurt pulled Blaine's trousers down over his crotch, along with his boxers, and couldn't help inhaling sharply when he saw his cock. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but with Blaine's height, it hadn't been this. He tried not to show his surprise, because it just seemed rude, and opened the condom, breathing slowly to make sure he didn't mess it up. His heart was beating so fast that he was in great danger of just passing out, or dissolving into giggles. He knew if he could just power through this, they could go back to the kissing and keep moving on. He could stand this separation for now. He just about managed to convince himself for long enough to get it on, before he lowered himself back down onto Blaine's chest, one palm on the bed and the other flat against him.

Blaine pulled Kurt's face towards him, desperate to get back to where they had been thirty seconds ago. It didn't take long. He grabbed the bottle of lube from where Kurt had dropped it before, reaching behind Kurt's back to squirt some onto his finger. He dropped the bottle, bringing his hand back up to run his fingers through Kurt's hair, kissing him even harder. He used his other hand to trace down his spine. Kurt shivered, surprised by how cold the liquid was. His breath hitched and he had to bite his lip when suddenly that coldness was inside him.

"Kurt, are you-" Kurt just nodded and kissed him again, closing his eyes and just kissing Blaine's neck and savouring this feeling. He'd thought about it. He knew he wanted it. But as he felt another finger slide in, he realised just how good it felt. The big deal everyone made about sex was finally making sense. Feeling like this, and knowing it was Blaine making it happen, was mind-blowing. He just wanted to be closer and closer to him, and he wanted Blaine to feel like he had felt before. He laid a hand on his arm.

"Blaine." Blaine stopped kissing Kurt's shoulder and looked him in the eyes, brow furrowed, with the most caring, worried, earnest expression on his face.

"What? Do you want to stop? Are you-"

"Blaine." Kurt repeated, "It's OK. I'm ready."

Blaine kissed him again, both of his hands firmly on Kurt's hips, and they both rolled over until Blaine was on top of Kurt, Kust's legs wrapped around his waist. He slid his hand under the small of his back, to make sure he could have complete control, but before he positioned himself, he rested his cheek against Kurt's, and whispered,

"Kurt, I'm… I'm scared. I'm scared I'll… I just… I don't want to hurt you-" He started to look down towards his lips, but Kurt tilted his head forwards to keep eye contact with him, lightly touching Blaine's cheek with the back of his fingers.

"You won't. You'll never hurt me."

They both let out a subtle smile. Nobody else would have even noticed it. But it said everything that needed to be said: "I love you."

Blaine pressed up against Kurt, very slowly pushing inside him. Their faces were side by side again, turned in towards each other. As he heard Kurt gasp and felt him nuzzle harder into his neck, he slid his hand further underneath him so he could give his waist a squeeze, and kissed his neck gently. Kurt nodded slightly, encouraging him to keep going, because even though it would take some getting used to, it felt amazing. The way every single movement Blaine made moved him too, and the faces he was making, fluctuating between scared and just dying with happiness. He willed him to carry on, to push this feeling as far as possible.

It wasn't long before Blaine was all the way in. He'd meant to go much more slowly, but as Kurt kept making those groaning, whimpering noises and this just felt so good, it was difficult to go slowly. He moved in long, slow thrusts in time with Kurt's breathing, and soon everything was moving in time: his mouth on Kurt's neck, Kurt's hand grasping over his back at his shoulder, Kurt's other hand squeezing his ass, his own hand, having now moved from behind Kurt, pumping up and down on Kurt's cock, and that rhythm kept gaining speed. He felt Kurt's feet against the backs of his thighs. He breathed deeply as he felt Kurt's body sliding against his, both of them sweaty and gasping for air. He tried not to sound like an animal, but the only noises he could get out of his mouth were grunts and groans and "Oh, Kurt… God…".

Kurt felt weightless. As if being jerked off alone wouldn't have been enough, feeling Blaine inside him was pushing him over the edge. He was amazed either of them had held on so long. Everything was trembling. He was shivering and shaking in new ways, in parts of his body he didn't know could feel this. His ears were ringing. He had to close his eyes, because when they were open everything was just a blur. His back was arched, bringing his body closer to Blaine's, and his head fell back as wave upon wave of sensation swallowed him. As he felt Blaine moving faster and faster, his ankles twitched and his toes curled. He clung even tighter to him, with his arms, legs, even his head was pressed so tightly against Blaine's they were practically hooked together. With Blaine's final few thrusts, Kurt thought he was going to evaporate. Just disappear. He moaned in time with the movement, his entire body seizing up and convulsing, his head thrown so far back it was almost pushing straight through the pillow. He'd taken over from Blaine jerking himself off, and Blaine's hand was underneath him again, holding their chests close together and lifting him up. Blaine's mouth went from kissing him to just gasping against his neck as they both went rigid, Kurt's head still tilted back and Blaine's tucked under his chin, Kurt with both arms clinging to Blaine, and they were frozen for what felt like hours.

As soon as they'd started breathing again, Blaine lowered Kurt back onto the bed and kissed him on the cheek, and then on the forehead, and finally on the lips. It wasn't as deep and passionate as before; it was just content and sleepy. Just like him and Kurt. Kurt quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped his stomach clean as Blaine rolled onto his side. Kurt turned to face him. Neither of them said anything. They pulled the covers over them and just lay side by side, examining each other's faces. Memorising every detail, just like this. Not just sweaty and tired, but so relaxed and happy. Their fingers were intertwined under the duvet. Blaine put a hand on Kurt's neck, pulling his head right next to his.

Kurt reached up and kissed the tip of Blaine's nose again, a cute grin on his face.

"Sorry." he said, oddly sheepishly considering what they'd just done, "It just felt right again."

Blaine laughed, stroking Kurt's cheek with his thumb.

"It's fine. I think… I think I liked it. It was perfect." Neither of them were sure if he was talking about the kiss or not. Neither of them particularly cared. Kurt reached down to switch on the string of lights that was coiled around the end of his bed. They didn't know when it had got dark, but the soft glow of the lights was just right, making their skin glisten slightly, as Kurt leaned into Blaine, his head in the crook of his neck, their hands still entangled and Blaine's arm wrapped around his shoulder.

As he lay against Blaine's chest, he couldn't help thinking about that song again. The song he'd been thinking about since they left school. The song about an arm wrapped around a shoulder, about lights laying before them, about moving so fast they felt drunk. But it was that one line that he couldn't get out of his head: 'I had a feeling that I belonged; I had a feeling I could be someone' and he smiled thinking about it. He did belong. He belonged right here, in Blaine's arms; Blaine, the boy in whose eyes he would always be someone.


End file.
